EVP

I would like to start off and tell everyone that I am in fact a believer in the spiritual side of life. And death. I think that something happens after a person dies, because I can't think that you just die, and spend the rest of eternity in a ugly, overpriced coffin. But I do know that your body will just lay around forever, so, I have already instructed my mom to have me buried in a size 4 dress and have the tag 'accidentally' sticking out. You never know when someone might dig you up and be impressed. Hopefully they don't turn me over and see the back is about 4 inches from closing. Anyway, I choose to never discuss what my beliefs are, or to ask anyone else what theirs are. Because , lets be honest, have you ever had a conversation about religion that ends with, "you know what, you have a good point, I never thought of that before." I didn't think so.
So last night my mom and I went to visit an EVP expert. Basically meaning, she records the voices of spirits. She used to be part of a paranormal investigation team, and found to have a gift for getting 'the dead' to communicate with her. We went into this last night with an open mind, all excited to have this experience, no matter what the outcome. Well, to be honest I really wanted my grandmother to come though all sassy and tellin' us how good she has it now. Hopefully, leaving out any mention of Nathan's where abouts. You know, why fluster the dead.
Lisa, the EVP expert, is everything you would expect her to be. She works in a crowded vintage shop, burns incense, has looooong hair, and talks about talking to the dead like it's nothing. She does all of the recordings at the old house next door to Panoply. She told us that she gets better readings in there. We went over there twice and did two different recordings. She holds this little tape recorder and walks around the house, asking for Shirley Mangan to come and speak with her. She told the others to be quiet, because she didn't want to hear from them. Apparently,there are a few spirits that like to hang around the house and cause trouble. When we were done recording and Lisa had left, I told those spirits they could do whatever they want, because I have no intention of pissing off anything dead. I don't care what the long haired lady said.
After she recorded what seemed like nothing, with my mom and I following her around like a couple of idiots, we went back to her store office. She hooked up the recorder to her computer and ran it though a program. The program gets out background noise and amplifies the sound. It looks like the stuff you can see on CSI, with sound waves and stuff. And then she started to listen.
It all sounds like a bunch of static until she re-runs it a couple of times, or slows it down, and then believe it or not you can hear voices. One particular voice kept coming through, but she told us that was Mr. Banta, the trouble maker. When she asked on the recording for Shirley to come though and tell us something personal, you could actually hear him say "Oh, shut up". Lisa thought this was humorous and kept on going. There are 'people' she calls monitors, and they help the person you are contacting come though and talk, or sometimes they just relay messages for them. They have different sounding voices, kinda robotic. It took for effing ever to get through about 10 minutes of actual recordings, but it was fascinating.
We heard the male robotic voice tell us, "She has gone to the light", "We will get her", "We will help her". We made no contact with her on the first recording, but after we went back we had more luck and started hearing some things. We heard a female voice, say something like, "help me in the bathroom", um OK. Sorry grams, shitting in the afterlife is on you. Many times Lisa told us that Shirley seemed stubborn. My grandmother was stubborn. We heard a monitor say, "You look through here" and then a cranky female voice said,"I can't see through that thing". Lisa was all excited about that comment, because she is always trying to figure out what 'they' do to communicate with us. I got all excited because that bitch on the other side was starting to sound an awful lot like my grandmother. A male voice randomly said, " The enemy is coming. Hide" and yet another say, "You are a snake like me, Calvin?" It was difficult to hear the last part of that. A little weird.
Throughout the second recording the oddest thing happened. Again Lisa was all aflutter, because it was something she had never seen before on a recording. Throughout most of the entire recording there was a beat. You could see it and hear it. It was a constant a steady beat.
----ll----ll----ll----ll. It looked like that on the computer. And trust me there was no sound like that in the house, or outside. It was not something you could hear with your ear, only with the recorder, and it was constant no matter where she was in the house. Freaked myself out a little with that one.

Towards the end of the recording, we heard a female say, "lets talk about..." Lisa thought it was a name, she said, "something like Jason, no ason, something like that." Could it be Nathan, who knows. We heard a ship and water. My grandmother was from Massachusetts and her ashes are scattered near Cape Cod. How she loved the ocean.

I don't know if we made contact with her, but I do believe we made contact with something. And it was amazing.